Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Random Tuesday Thoughts: The Randomest of All


It's Tuesday and I am joining in the fun with Keely and the gang (not to be confused with Kool and The Gang) and doing a Random Tuesday Thoughts post this week! I know, it's exciting. Try to contain your excitement and head over there and get the button yourself to write some random junk. Cause, well, it's fun. And fun is fun. And who doesn't like fun?

Speaking of fun, over the weekend, I went to the Muse/Silver Sun Pickups concert at TD Banknorth Garden with two of my awesomest friends from college. Now this was fun, but would have been a lot MORE fun if I didn't have the beginnings of a stomach bug. Have you ever ridden the subway and walked around the city, then sat in a loud stadium and danced and screamed your little heart out, all the while feeling like your stomach was going to come rushing out of your mouth and experiencing a serious case of the cold sweats? No? Consider yourself lucky. It's not an experience I recommend to anyone. However, seeing Muse live I HIGHLY recommend because it was INCREDIBLE. The stage was amazing; they played in the round with three illuminated pillars that came up out of the stage that they played on for some of the songs and that played video of various eyegasms, from a man swimming in water that slowly rose and filled the pillar, to clips of the actual audience, to men going up and down stairs and falling like dominoes. It was just so freaking cool. Then there were the lasers. Then there were the GIANT beach balls that looked like eyeballs that fell from the ceiling that were filled with confetti. Oh yeah, then there was the MUSIC. Which, of course, in true Muse style was epic and even better live than recorded. I can't wait to see them again when I don't feel like I am going to barf all over the people in front of me.

The good news is that I made it home without throwing up on anyone in the stadium or on the train, but then spent the rest of the night on all fours with my head over the toilet bowl. I even slept on the bathroom floor for about an hour or so. I am actually pretty proud of myself. After 30 years, I finally no longer cry or ask for my mommy when I vomit. I dealt with my illness in silence (well, as silent as you can be when you are puking your guts out) and crawled onto the couch at 7:30 in the morning, where my husband and daughter found me sleeping when they woke up. Luckily, my awesome husband let me go to bed for the day and took care of the little one and I slept until 3:00 in the afternoon. But, unlike the kids, who were up and running around 12 hours after the onset of their symptoms of the stomach bug, it took me a full 48 hours to get back to feeling normal again. Am I getting old? Wait, don't answer that...

I forgot to tell you guys something, I am writing for another blog. Don't worry, I will never love writing for it as much as I love writing for this one. It doesn't mean the same thing as The Wise Young Mommy does. This will always be my first blog love. But my friend started a Pop Culture blog and asked me to start creating some content for it because he intends to monetize it soon, so it could mean some money for me in the near future and I couldn't pass it up. I am now writing over at PopCultureFan.com, doing weekly American Idol recaps and various other pieces on television, movies and general pop culture news. So head over if you're sick of reading CNN and want some really hard-hitting journalism. Heh.

Yeah, I'm a sellout. All the way.

Also, I might be writing about the Boston Red Sox for a sports blog soon. Don't laugh. I KNOW my baseball. And also, I have boobs, and they want a woman's perspective. Surprisingly enough, I have more to offer than how they look in their uniforms, so you may actually see me as the next token chick sports writer on this cool sports blog that I can't tell you the name of yet. Stay tuned.

So that's all the randomness I have today. Remember to go read all the other fabulous random posts linked up over at The Un-Mom and link up your own random post if you got one!

Peace out!

Monday, March 1, 2010

I Love You, Therefore I Hold The Bowl

This weekend was the weekend I got to hold the bowl. Yes, the puke bowl. Not only that, but I got to hold back the hair, and rub the back, get the water, and say "it's OK, you're going to be OK." Because that's what us moms do.

Even us moms that HATE puke. And I mean, hate. With a capital "H." Like, would avoid puking or being in the vicinity of puke at all costs and is almost verging on PHOBIC about puke. But, when you become a mother, there is this clause at the bottom of the paperwork that you have to sign in the delivery room that says "You, the undersigned, realize fully and of sound body and mind that there is a shitload of poop, urine and vomit in your future and you will have it on your person, will have to dispose of it, clean it up and watch it coming out of various orifices on your child/ren and must not, under any circumstances, run screaming out of the room, cry or break down emotionally when confronted with said bodily fluids." And even though you are still all drugged up and exhausted from pushing a baby out of your vagina, you sign it and you are trapped. Trapped into the job of the "Bowl Holder."

But, the thing that you don't realize, is that when it is your kid, it's different. Yes, puke is still disgusting. It smells bad, it looks gross and you definitely don't want it on you or near you. But when it does get on you, you don't gag and think you might actually drop dead from absolute disgust. You are more concerned about the fact that YOUR BABY just THREW UP. And OH MY GOD, what is wrong with them??? And instead of running from the room when your child starts gagging and you can see the vomit starting to come out of their mouth, you run TO them and push the bowl under their mouth, pull their hair back (because God forbid they get puke in their beautiful hair) and rub their backs. Because that's your baby. And you feel bad. You feel really bad.

It still sucks. Don't get me wrong. My stomach does flips and my heart races and I sweat like a fat guy running a 5K. But most of the distress I am feeling is just because I am worried about my child. I can't stand to see my children sick or hurt, and I would take it from them in a heartbeat. And after about the fifth time, sometimes I have to hold back the tears because I feel like I just can't take one more puke session. But I get through it. I always do. Because I love my kids.

Puke and all.

Friday, February 19, 2010

"Mommies Always Scream Into Pillows When They Are Happy"

This? Hilarious. Not 100% accurate cause, you know, we aren't all married to a-holes and some of us actually have our degree and work or work from home. But it still strikes a chord, you must admit. Watch and laugh, if you are a haggard, tired, real-life mom with a sense of humor.

If you are one of those perfect moms who always has time to shower and do her hair and makeup and never loses her patience, wishes she could hide in her bedroom during the day, or has a drink during the week because her kids have driven her to the breaking point, then, well - fuck you.

Yeah, I said it. And you shouldn't care, cause obviously your life is way better than mine. You can laugh all the way to your mani/pedi appointment.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Here Comes Crash-Boom Betty!

Has everyone seen the movie Whip It with Ellen Page and Drew Barrymore? Totally awesome. So awesome, in fact, that it has consumed my thoughts in the past 24 hours and I can't think of anything other than the incredibly awesome sport that it portrays. That sport?


Hot chicks on old school quad skates kicking ass with creative personas and sick costumes? Where do I sign up? I mean, seriously, I spent many a Saturday night at Roll-Land with my friends showing off my moves and the idea of strapping on some skates again and shredding up the rink is more than a little appealing. I even started thinking up possible roller derby names. Here is the list of the ones I came up with:

1. Mommy Fearless
2. Ms. Behavin'
3. Ma Viscious
4. Bad Mama Jammer
5. Crash-Boom Betty

As you can see from the title of this post, I went with # 5, first of all because my family nickname is "Crash" and one of my nicknames from an old friend was "Betty," plus it was the only one that wasn't too close to an existing name in the International Rollergirls Master Roster so it would probably be accepted should I actually go through with this hairbrained idea I've got in my head. I know I am a strong enough skater. I have the personality and the drive. But one very, VERY important question remains:

Am I tough enough?

Am I going through a third life crisis? Or finally allowing my true self to emerge from this cocoon of motherhood I have been living in for the past 10 years? I'm not really sure. But I like it.

And I like the new pink streaks in my hair too.

Rock and ROLL.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Oops, I Did It Again!

Yup, I disappeared again, didn't I? Sorry about that, but I have good excuses this time. I think.


#1. We lost our tenants that were supposed to be moving into our second floor apartment so we had to scramble around to find new ones. But the good news is, we have a couple coming to look at it this weekend that seems VERY promising. Young, but not too young, with kids around our kids' ages. As far as we can tell not crackheads or alcoholics, and I got along famously with the lady of the house so I could actually end up with a friend living upstairs. We win!

**Fingers crossed.

# 2. I got a job!!!! It's another remote position so I can work from home, and although it's not 100% writing, it's money and money is good! I will be doing email customer service and writing the training manuals for a loyalty shopping company. An old supervisor contacted me about joining his team and in not so many words, I said "Hell yes!" I started training yesterday and it looks like it is going to work out really well. So pretty soon I will be able to stop mooching from the government, which will make me feel pretty damn good.

# 3. I have been reconnecting with lots and lots of old friends and it has been fabulous. I feel so lucky to be surrounded with people from my life from all the way back to elementary school up through high school, college and after, and to be seeing so many of them on a regular basis. For a very long time, I lived in a little bubble of motherhood that I didn't let anyone penetrate and I never allowed myself to break out of, and now I am realizing how much I truly was missing. I thought that there wasn't room in my life for good friendships and that in order to give myself fully to my husband and children, I couldn't have a social life, hobbies or interests outside of them. I was wrong. I am becoming a better mother and wife, I believe, from the enrichment of these amazing people being in my life. And I can finally feel myself coming alive again, finding the love for things I had cast aside, and it's making life brighter and more vivid. And that, my friends, is a true blessing.

# 4. I have been doing quite a bit of work for the relief effort in Haiti, donating money, clothes and supplies, spreading the word, and researching other ways to help. This tragedy seemed to hit me really hard, specifically because I felt like I had done a lot of bitching and moaning about how tough our family has had it recently, and then I was hit with the images of men, women and children living on the streets of Haiti, injured and bleeding, without food or clean water, and I felt like I was just so incredibly lucky. I have always given to charities and donated clothes, shoes and toys year-round to organizations like The Salvation Army and church shelters, and I gave money and donations when Hurricane Katrina hit as well. But I wasn't an online presence during Katrina, didn't have Twitter or Facebook, and I felt this time around like I had the power to do more, and needed to do more. I am not a women of riches, but I am a woman who can reach people, with time on her hands, and I wanted to use that time to get the message out so that people wouldn't turn their heads away. So I tweeted ways to help, posted about clothing and supply drives and gave as much as I could myself. Now I am working with a friend to collect crayons and coloring books for the kids in Haiti who have no school and nothing to keep themselves entertained while they witness all the devastation around them. So, you know, there's that.

I am going to try to get back on a schedule of posting, but I must admit that I feel like I have lost my mojo a little bit. So bear with me, my fellow blogging peeps. I promise I will try to have some good stuff for you to read, but I can't guarantee anything. In the meantime, enjoy this video, my favorite American Idol audition this season so far (P.S. You have to watch to the end to see what he says after the audition in his interview):

Thursday, January 14, 2010

You CAN Help Haiti

Unless you have been living under a rock, you know that Haiti was rocked with a 7.0 earthquake on Tuesday that has caused incredible devastation, massive injuries and a death toll that is rising by the day. The small Caribbean nation of Haiti was already considered one of the poorest in the western hemisphere and was not equipped or prepared for such a disaster in the first place, so you can imagine that the result of such a dramatic natural occurrence, one that would be catastrophic even here in the United States, is wreaking complete havoc on these poor people and their country.

Many of us are sitting in our homes feeling helpless and wishing we could do more to help. Some of us are concerned but ignoring it and assuming there isn't anything we can do because the needy are so far away. And further still, some are completely unconcerned because it has nothing to do with their own immediate lives and problems. Well, I urge those people to open their eyes and realize that these people need all the help that they can get, and even though we are far away and may not have money or medical expertise to give, there is ALWAYS something we can do. The worst thing we can do is just sit by and watch our fellow man suffer and die because we just couldn't be bothered.

I, for one, don't have any money, that isn't a big secret. But I can spare $10. So I made my $10 donation yesterday. I will be calling around to the churches in my area to find one who does missions to Haiti to see what they need for supplies and/or clothing and food. And I am doing my part by talking, writing and tweeting about it, to be sure that people aren't closing their eyes or turning their heads away because it's too painful to think about or they don't want to make an effort to help. Think about it this way. What if it were you and your family suffering through this tragedy and someone took the time to donate a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt when you had no clothing to wear?

I will leave you with some links to resources, and please feel free to email me if you have any more useful links I can include in this post. You can donate to the cause through any of these organizations, as well as receive updates on the relief assistance.

American Red Cross
The Salvation Army
Partners in Health
NPR Article on Ways to Help in Haiti
Planting Peace
Conduit Mission
Doctors Without Borders

Also, my friend Kat, at 3 Bedroom Bungalow wrote about this as well today, so go ahead and check out her post as well.

Thank you.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Have You Talked To YOUR Angels Lately?

Today I have good things to say, so I am going to share them with you. You're welcome for making your day THAT much better. I love sharing my joy with others, what can I say?

Ok, so first of all, after eight long weeks of bullshit, and a week of stressful waiting after an adjudication period over my unemployment, I finally got my benefits deposited into my bank account this morning.

Hallelujah, praise the Lord. I seriously cried this morning when I saw that nice, pretty high balance in my account. Granted, it will be gone very, very soon, but this is a nice, big positive step forward that was much, MUCH needed.

I also wanted to tell you about an experience I had over the weekend that was pretty rad. I had an Angel Card reading done by my incredibly awesome friend's friend over the phone. I had never had one done, and am not super duper into stuff like that, but pride myself on being very open to everything in the universe. If you don't know what an Angel Card reading is, the premise is that we all have guardian angels watching over us and guiding us, and the cards simply point us in the right direction or open our eyes to the important things our angels want us to know. They don't tell you the future, and they never tell you anything bad. It's all about supporting you and guiding you in your life and your decisions. Apparently, many of us are resistant to the support and help that our angels are offering, and I am one of those people, because all of my cards were upside down. I guess I like to do things my own way, who knew? Well, everyone knew that. Shut up, I know. Whatever.

So first she relaxes you and tells you to ask your guardian angels for guidance. You close your eyes and breathe in and out and picture yourself surrounded by them. It's really very calming and lovely. During this time, she is shuffling the deck, and whatever cards fall out are the cards your angels want you to see. These were mine:

Card # 1 - Represents where I have been the past 3 weeks to 3 months. This card was Angel Isaiah and it was upside down, which means that I have been resistant to his assistance.

"It's a good time to give birth to new ideas and situations in your life. I am watching over you, guiding you, and protecting you during these changes."

Additional Message: "You are ripe with new possibilities, and you feel an urgency to push into new territory. Beloved one, your new and exciting life changes are inevitable. There is no turning back! Instead of playing it safe, you decided to move forward. That is why I am with you right now, giving you the extra courage and comfort that you need."

"However, there is no need to rush. This is a time of incubation, where nature can allow everything to grow in its innate rhythm. Be assured that your life change will hatch at just the right moment! In the meantime, know that God and the angels are watching over you. You are safe and very loved. Congratulations on the birth of this new period of your life!"

Card # 2 - Represents where I am right now. This card was Angel Astara, also upside down.

"You deserve the best! Reach for the stars with your dreams and desires, and don't compromise."

Additional Message: "In the past, you have settled for less than you wanted. But no more. I am here to raise your standards. I am also here to show you that you need not suffer in any way. It isn't selfish to desire a better life. The more that you receive, the more you are able to give to others. When you allow us to give to you, you're also supplied with all of the necessary tools for your life's purpose. You also inspire others when you show that the spiritual path gives you all of the support you could ever need."

"God and the angels want you to enjoy your life. Happiness is a holy part of your Divine mission. Whatever we can do to bring joy and peace into your life, please ask. We have noticed a reluctance on your part to ask for help. Perhaps you have felt that you didn't deserve good, or that you would be taking away from someone else if you received our help. Yet God only knows abundance, and humans are the only ones who believe in scarcity. This card is a reminder that God and the angels can only intervene if you request our help."

Card # 3 - Represents where I should be in the next 3 months. This card was Angel Daniel, the angel of marriage. Also upside down.

"I am the Angel of Marriage, and I am assisting you right now."

Additional Message: "You have called upon God to help in the area of marriage, and He sent me to your side. I am here to help you with a fulfilling marriage. God and I desire to answer your prayer without delay. The first area that I am helping you with is healing any past wounds related to marriage. In quiet moments, I ask that you be willing to release to me any pain associated with your parents. I ask that you breathe out any negative feelings that you may have about marriage, which stem from your childhood experiences."

"Next, I put my hand upon your heart and ask you to breathe in and out deeply. I now ask that you be willing to release old pain or anger toward your first love. As you release these toxins from your heart, I next ask you to exhale old pain toward all of your past lovers. Allow me to clear your heart of old wounds so that you can enjoy a happy marriage rooted in the present. We must release the past to avoid replicating old, painful experiences. I am here to free your heart so that it can fully love . . . within a blissful marriage."

Then there were some extra cards that fell out that said stuff about me needing to take better care of myself, to take more time for me and treat myself, and to relax more. To that, I say "here here!" Also, I got a card that said I have a unique connection with animals and that all my pets in heaven are watching over me and being guardian angels, which makes me feel pretty good.

Then after the reading, the woman told my friend that she kept having this feeling like she needed to tell me to write about my experience with the reading. So here I am, writing about it. I am obedient, if nothing else.

I really felt like the reading was pertinent to my life right now and it did help me look inward to examine the recent things that have happened. As you all know, it has not been the easiest time lately. But I do feel a shift is coming. And perhaps I do need to let people help me, and reach out to some spiritual guidance as well. It can't hurt, right? I have already begun to expand my support system by reconnecting with old friends, and have been trying to do more fun things I enjoy, such as listen to music, sing and dance, so I will continue with that. I believe things such as those can only enrich your life and make you stronger and better equipped to deal with the blows that life sends your way.

So 2010 was a slow starter, but I think it's finally gotten the memo and might be kicking it into gear. Me and my angels are gonna kick some ass and take some names.

You know, in a highly spiritual way.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

My 3-Year-Old Musical Prodigy/LOML

During times of stress and strife, I always look for things that make me feel good to help me get through it. Spending time with old friends lately has been really helping me. Reconnecting and getting to know who they have become over the years has really been a great pick-me-up and has not only cheered me up, but has expanded my support system. I really do believe that people come in and out of your life at certain times for a reason, and I think lately I have found some people that I was supposed to find, and for that, I am immensely grateful. But, the other thing that really has lifted me up lately has been something that I had seemingly neglected, and I am not quite sure why. My intense love of music. So I decided to change that.

My 3 1/2 year old daughter and I have been spending A LOT of time lately indulging in music. And by a lot, I mean, we spend almost all day listening to it, singing, dancing, and playing instruments, and I have been using most of my free time downloading new music to play for her. I must say, she has IMPECCABLE taste in music. So far, some of her favorites (other than The Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus and Demi Lovato of course) are:

-Johnny Cash
-The Pixies
-The Violent Femmes
-They Might Be Giants
-The Lemonheads
-The Beatles
-The Cars
-Hall and Oates
-The Flaming Lips
-Ben Fold's Five
-David Bowie
-Letters to Cleo
and Weezer

How can you not love a child that has an appreciation for such incredibly awesome music? She not only knows the words to many of these artists' repertoires, but can also rock out on guitar, and rock a killer kitchen dance party while we cook dinner or do dishes. It just makes life so much more fun.

I am really looking forward to moving ahead with one of my goals for 2010, which is for both her and I to learn how to play guitar so we can play and sing some of these songs together. I think it is an amazing thing to be able to share music with your children.

What do you share with your children, other than colds?

Check her out, rockin' to The Pixies. I think she might be the next Patti Smith, what do you think?

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Insert Funny Post Here

So this is the place where I am supposed to write funny/insightful/goofy things for you to read, right? Yeah, sorry about that. I had to blow the dust off when I got here, so I guess it's been a while. But, you know, there's shit. And then some more shit piles on top of that. And then that shit takes a big shit on your head.

Ew, that's gross. Sorry.

It's life. Life has been kicking my ass lately. I find that I have nothing to write about. Well, nothing good anyway. And nobody really wants to read doom and gloom. So bear with me people, and I will work on getting all happy for ya (or at least find a funny angle for my misery) to bring you some shits and giggles soon.

In the meantime, watch this hilariously funny first wedding dance video:

Monday, December 21, 2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Yes, Petra, There is a Santa Claus


Today I am participating in the much celebrated and super awesome Random Tuesday Thoughts hosted by Keely over at The Un-Mom, so grab that button up there, visit her over at her pad and write some random stuff of your own on your own blog. But first read this and don't steal it. Get your own randomness, this is MINE.

Just when you think things can't get any worse, they do. Yup, they get a LOT worse. So then you are convinced that things are never going to get any BETTER and you start to get used to your cursed life. You accept that you have no money, never will and will just have to suck it up, that the only luck you will ever have is bad luck, but that it's alright because you have family that loves you and pretty good hair so it's cool. But then something happens. Something you don't recognize. It takes you a minute to figure it out, but then you realize that it's something...good. That something good happened to me today people. After about a month and a half of absolutely ZERO job prospects from dozens of resumes and job applications sent out, I heard from TWO different prospective employers. Then I had a phone interview with one of them.

And I got the job.

I fucking rule.

It's a very part time copy editing and blogging gig for a start up upscale event planning company in Boston, and it certainly isn't going to solve all our money problems, but it's a start, and it's something GOOD, so I'm happy. It doesn't take much lately. Plus, the owner is simply fabulous and we hit it off right away so I am really looking forward to this new opportunity. So Merry Christmas to me, there IS a Santa Claus!

Next, I want to talk about this:

This photo is taken from the blog of Bob X. Cringely. This is his family's ACTUAL, REAL -LIFE Christmas card.

Um, really Bob? I was literally left speechless. I am not even going to say what I think. I want to know what YOU think about this little gem.

On to a picture with a lot less skin and a lot more cute little girl.

I am pretty sure this is the picture I am choosing for Quinn's portfolio picture for the modeling agency. Oh, you didn't know that my child is a bidding young model/actress/rock star? Well, she is. There were so many cute ones to choose from that my friend, Jennifer DeCesari took, but I think this one is the winner. Go check out her web site for more of her awesome photography.

So what do you think? And please keep your opinions about child modeling to yourself if they involve the fact that you think I am exploiting my child. She WANTS to do this, and if she is successful, it will send her to college. So bite me.

Finally, I wanted to tell you about the conversation that I had with my daughter at bedtime last night. She informed me that she has changed her mind and does not, in fact, want to marry Joe Jonas anymore. I know, I know, I was surprised too. I mean, he seems like the logical choice. But she has her mind absolutely made up that she would like to marry someone else. A young man who embodies everything that is good and fun in her little world, the young man who has taught her countless priceless lessons in life and about the value of a really good pillow fight.

This young man is her brother.

"I am going to marry Big Boy. He will be the daddy and I will be the mommy," she said to me.

As I tried my absolute hardest not to laugh, I said to her "Honey, you can't marry Big Boy, he is your brother. You're not allowed to marry your brother."

Her eyes filled up with tears and her lip quivered and I had to try even harder not to laugh. I know, I am a terrible, insensitive mother.

"Please, mommy? Please? I want to marry Big Boy. I really do!"

And when I shook my head, she burst into hysterical tears and I had to hug her and bury her head into my shoulder so she couldn't see the pained, trying-so--incredibly-hard-not-to-burst-into-laughter look on my face.

I finally got her calmed down and tucked into bed, and she cried herself to sleep, the poor little thing. I went into Big Boy's room and told him what happened, thinking he would get a kick out of it.

"Hey Big Boy, Baby Girl just got really upset because I told her she couldn't marry you because you are her brother."

He looked up from his Nintendo DS, rolled his eyes and said "Tell her not to worry, I'll help her find a husband."

Now that, my friends, is real brotherly love.

Happy holidays everyone. I love you and appreciate you all. Enjoy your families this season, be safe, have fun, and try not to get stressed out. Remember what matters.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

All I Want for Chirstmas Is To Stay Out Of Rehab

I stopped drinking during the week.


I know. Shocking and mildly disturbing, right? Especially at this time of year, when stress and chaos abound, and with two kids, being unemployed and living with my in-laws, having a drink on a Tuesday night was a vital way to unwind and cope with the uber-demanding entity I like to call my life.

Which is a big problem. Because, in fact, not only was a glass of wine a way to unwind, it was a completely necessary and MUST HAVE part of my day. If I did not have a bottle of wine, I found a way to get one. And most nights, let's be honest, it did not stop at one glass of wine, it usually escalated into two or three, which inevitably lead to me feeling sweater tongued and heavy headed the next morning - and waiting longingly for 6 or 7 p.m. when I could have my beloved glass (or two) of wine again. The letter of the day is "W" people. And the word of the day is "wino."

I am not saying I am an alcoholic, but in a family famous for alcoholics, I know how damaging it can be, and I don't want to go down that road. I also know that the worst time to be drinking a little too much is a time when you are stressed out and overwhelmed. So I decided to nip it in the bud before I became the next victim on Intervention. I had already started getting suspicious every time I was invited to a get-together or someone wanted to videotape me for something. And when people automatically assumed I was drinking wine every night while watching television, I knew A&E was only the next logical step.

Not only that, but it saves hundreds of calories a week, and tons of money that we certainly don't have to spend right now, so in my somewhat deluded estimation I am killing, like, 24 birds with one stone.

Even my husband, Mr. Open a Beer As Soon As He Gets Home has all but stopped drinking. I know, right? He now drinks MILK at night during the week. Is there anything cuter than a grown man drinking milk at night at home while watching the basketball game? No, there isn't. But we have both found that we are so much more clear headed and feel so much better, plus there is no danger of feeling out of control or bajiggity when the shit hits the fan. That is of utmost importance, you know, keeping the bajiggitness at bay during times of stress and hardship.

So I figure by being all grown up and responsible-like, I am doing myself and my family a big favor. And now the only thing I am in danger of being on Intervention for is my unhealthy adult obsession with The Jonas Brothers ;)

Seriously, though, if you or someone you love has a substance abuse problem, please seek help. Here are some links to useful resources:

Drug Abuse and Addiction: Signs, Symptoms and Help for Drug Problems

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

Substance Abuse Treatment Facility Locator

Friday, December 11, 2009

Go Elf Yourself!

One thing about being unemployed, you find yourself with quite a bit of free time on your hands. And rather than spend that time doing constructive things such as clean, write, look for jobs, or even blog, I find myself doing stuff such as "elfing" my entire family for mine and my daughter's absolute and complete enjoyment. That is what I did yesterday afternoon. And it did, indeed, keep us entertained for the ENTIRE afternoon because, surprisingly, it didn't get old and we spent about two hours watching them over and over and laughing HYSTERICALLY.

So here they are now, for your viewing pleasure. Starring me, my daughter, my son, my husband and a very special guest star whom my daughter would not let me leave out of the fun. There will be a very special Christmas prize for the first person who knows the name of that young, handsome bonus elf. (FADKOG, calling FADKOG!!!!!)


Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Send your own ElfYourself eCards