Thursday, April 30, 2009

Random Thursday Thoughts: Better Late Than Never, Right? Right?

Well, I missed Random Tuesday Thoughts because I was busy moaning every time I swallowed and trying not to faint from fever while chasing around my 3-year-old. Yes, I got sick AGAIN and this time it was God's way of telling me to SLOW THE FUCK DOWN and stop what I was doing because, well, I had no choice. It's rather difficult to do anything when it hurts every appendage when you move and you can barely keep your eyes open. So even though I didn't stop working completely, I did blow off almost everything else, which includes my dear, dear, poor little neglected blog. I'm sorry blog. Hugs? Are we cool?

The good news is that I DO NOT have swine flu. So all that oinking and rolling in the mud was just a really odd compulsion of mine.

However, in the midst of all the Chloraseptic spraying, nose blowing and Advil popping, I got some good news.

I GOT A WRITING JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yup, it didn't take long for things to turn around and make me feel (somewhat) less bitter about not getting that other job (what was that site's name? Huh, can't even remember...) and this one is MUCH cooler (at least that is what my therapist is telling me). I will be a contributing writer for none other than SEXIS magazine, EdenFantasys.com online rag for all things sex related. Let the comments about me being much more suited for this type of writing commence. But not only do I have much more experience with sex than babies (well, you know, there's a lot more practice involved before the actual baby gets there), but it is going to be so FUN. My editor is the bomb--he's cool, intelligent and hilariously funny and has already given me my first assignment which I LOVE. I am not going to tell you what it is, so it will be a nice little surprise when it is published in a couple of weeks, but I will just say it is a fantastic topic that allows me to be a real journalist, delving into culture, society, sex, and politics, while keeping a great sense of humor and entertaining the readers. I am PUMPED. And it helps that the money is great.

My daughter turned 3 on Sunday. Somebody please tell me how I can stop this terrible thing called "growing up." Pretty soon she won't want to snuggle with me anymore and everything I say will be embarrassing. That makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

This Sunday we are having a huge princess party and I can't wait. I might be just as excited as she is, because just the thought of seeing all the little girls and boys in their princess and prince costumes simultaneously makes my heart swell and gives me a toothache. I just love those little ankle biters. Too bad they can't stay that way (see above). Cause my 9-year-old lately has an attitude that makes my skin crawl and I remember the day when he was oh-so-cute too. Here's to hoping he doesn't go around telling all the toddlers on Sunday that there is no such thing as magic and fairy dust.

I still feel like crap, so that's about all I have today. I noticed that the blog was getting cobwebs, so I thought it was about time to post something. I promise next week I will try to get back on a more regular posting schedule, as well as get on the HBSB blog creation so we can pick that back up as well. Everybody have an awesome weekend and you might want to sanitize your hands after reading this blog post. You can never be too careful.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Some Things of Interest...Or Not

Do you know what happens when you work from home during vacation week with a 9-year-old with ADHD and a 3-year-old who is, well, 3, take away sleeping well at night because of said 3-year-old's allergies keeping her up all night and add in a dash of dirty house and piles of laundry to be done THEN adding a terrible sore throat, stuffy nose and headache? You get ME. This week has been pretty crazy and there is so much to be done, but I wanted to take some time to make a couple of announcements.

The first thing I wanted to share with you is that the company that I work for, Care.com, is having a promotion this weekend of the 24th to the 26th. Here are the details:

Care.com is holding its first-ever Free Weekend!

From Friday, April 24 through Sunday, April 26, Care.com will waive its regular subscription fee and allow full access to hundreds of thousands of pre-screened, high-quality babysitters, nannies, and other caregivers for free.

Experience the benefits of paid, premium membership for FREE!

  • Post a job or search pre-screened caregivers
  • Review background checks and references
  • Contact your ideal caregiver!

Take advantage of this opportunity to start your search for summertime care. Don’t miss Care.com’s Free Weekend!

Program Details:

Premium access to Care.com is FREE between 12:00 am PDT April 24, 2009 and 11:59 pm PDT April 26, 2009.

In order to protect the privacy of our caregivers, Free Weekend members will not receive access to caregiver phone numbers and will only be able to message caregivers through Care.com.

Free weekend members’ ability to access Care.com messages and to send and receive new messages will end at 11:59 pm PDT on April 26, 2009.

Free weekend members will be able to request one FREE background check during Free Weekend.

This is an awesome opportunity and if you are looking for a caregiver for your little ones or parents, need a housekeeper or even a personal assistant, this site will help you find the perfect person. I have been working for them for over a year and have used their services to find a baby sitter and they are AWESOME. So hopefully some of you can take advantage of the free weekend!

Next, some of you may have noticed that He Blogs, She Blogs has been on a bit of a hiatus for the past few weeks. Or not, maybe I am flattering myself that anyone would notice. Either way, we are taking a bit of a break from HBSB, but it will be back and better than ever. I have decided to shake things up a bit and give this feature its very own blog where both Captain Dumbass and I will both post, as well as having special guests. Along with the change of venue, there will also be some changes in format you can expect to see. We will focus on one topic per post so we can really go into the subject, and it will be less like a question and answer session and more like actual topical posts. We will still need topic suggestions from everyone so get your thinking caps on and tell me and the Cap'n what you want us to really delve into.

And finally, you see that little badge over there to the left? Well, if you click on it, it will allow you to vote for me for the Blogger's Choice Awards for Hottest Mommy Blogger. Now I am not sure if this is "hot" as in I have bodacious ta-ta's and awesome hair or if it means that I am just on fire with bloggity notoriety, but either way, I would greatly appreciate it if you would go vote for me. Although I know I have no chance of winning over Dooce, Scary Mommy and The Pioneer Woman, I would like to at least not humiliate myself by only getting a measly 8 votes. So please go vote, you can vote for as many people as you want, and I won't even be offended if you vote for Dooce while you are over there.

Oh yeah, and let me know what you are nominated for and I will be sure to go click on you in return! I am all about reciprocity.

Thanks to all my gorgeous, smart, talented, and HOT readers. (No, I am not sucking up, I just love showering you guys with praise and flattery. Is there something wrong with that?)

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday: Can You See Their Halos?

Don't they look innocent? Aren't they cute? Yeah, that's how they get you.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The Love Affair

I have found myself consumed with a love affair of sorts. Not with another person, but one with my lifelong hobby of devouring books and losing myself in their fictional worlds. Hobby is not the right word; this interest of mine is so much more--more intense, more passionate, and more like a relationship. Sometimes it is a romantic, whimsical love affair. At other times it is a dangerous, frightening tryst that I know isn't good for me, but makes me feels so satisfied. And of course there is the guilty pleasure, the lover that isn't quite good enough for me, not even remotely challenging enough, but that brings me to a happy, simple place, devoid of responsibility and deep thought. I forgo sleep, food and anything else that takes precious time away from my beloved, and feel it pulling me back to it when I put it down to tend to life.

I am slipping into old patterns of immersing myself completely in a book and finding it difficult to extricate myself from its grips. The escape it offers me is intoxicating, too tempting to avoid and too fulfilling to stop. Now I can't get enough; I am piling my nightstand with books recommended to me, ones that I have heard about from who-knows-where and ones that just caught my eye in one of my many meandering browses through the bookstore. My drug, my addiction. My love affair.

So if you notice that I am not around much, you can almost be certain where I can be found. Tucked into the corner of my couch with a blanket thrown over my legs and a book in my lap. Enjoying my time in someone else's world and avoiding real life, this is where I will be. Who knows when I will be able to break the hold this lover has on me?

Although I need to pay more attention to reality, I am not quite sure I am ready to break it off just yet.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

She Goes Both Ways

Today's post is focused around another awesome article from SEXIS magazine over at EdenFantasys.com. This one is my personal favorite, for it hits close to home for me. The title of the article is She Goes Both Ways: Women and Bisexuality. So your next question is obviously going to be: "Are you bisexual?" And the answer to that question is a loud and resounding maybe.

Don't like that answer do you? Ha, well, I am sorry to tell you that there are so many stops along the way on the sexuality scale that is is hard to define sometimes. Especially with women, so many of us are open to sexual experiences with different sexes, without necessarily considering ourselves "gay" or "bisexual."That's what this article is all about.

The author does a really great job at explaining how women view sexuality, and that it is not always about whether you have a penis or a vagina. In my case, for instance, I have had relationships with women in the past. However, I am not attracted to every good looking woman that I see, quite the opposite actually. I am attracted to the person, the whole package, and sometimes that person isn't traditionally beautiful or sexy. In contrast, with men, I am usually attracted to the traditional definition of the "sex symbol" such as Brad Pitt or Robert Pattinson, and it doesn't really matter what's "inside" if you know what I mean. It's like with one sex I am playing chess and the other checkers. A totally different game, one much more complex and complicated, so I don't like to play it every day. Let's just say I have been known to play game after game of checkers, but I am still figuring out how to play the game of chess.

So since I am bisexual, I must love threesomes, huh? Yeah, my husband wishes. As the author points out, just because a woman is open to sex with other women, it does not mean that she is automatically into group sex or that she loves to have sex with women for men's enjoyment. This is a fantasy that all men have, and they so want it to be true. But I am sorry to say guys, it is not. Do some bisexual women like group sex? Absolutely. But certainly not all. And many of us (such as myself) have a preference for one sex and choose that sex over the other to settle down in a monogamous relationship. Or they meet the "perfect" individual for them, regardless of sex, and choose them for the rest of their lives. And just like there are some heterosexual and homosexual individuals who decide to be promiscuous and never settle down, there are bisexuals who do so as well. Different strokes for different folks. It takes all walks of life to fill this little village we call a planet.

Finally, the author goes over how difficult it can be for bisexuals in society. Gays criticize, saying that women are just "curious" or that they are just not "out of the closet" yet. Traditional society thinks it's strange and not quite accepted. So where does that leave all the women out there that aren't ready to choose their genitalia preference? Well, it leaves them with an intense need to be confident in who they are, and pay no attention to the closed minded people who believe you have to be one way or the other. That's not always easy, but it's worth it in the end. Life is hard enough as it is, and finding love and companionship is a struggle we all have to endure. But being true to yourself and open to love in all its forms is the key to finding what you need, whether it be marriage, an open relationship or just a series of partners who teach you about who are you and what you enjoy.

Go read the article. It's good. And it just may open your eyes to a lifestyle that you never understood, or one that you always thought might be for you. Whatever you do, go with your eyes and heart open, and don't let your preconceived definitions of love and sex cloud your judgement. Love is love, people. Embrace it in all its forms.

While you are over there, check out some other articles and sex tips at SEXIS. It's a great site for breaking open the taboo topics without making it dirty or uncomfortable. Join in on the forum discussions and get answers to questions you have been pondering, and you might just learn something new.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

You Can Take Your Stupid Job and Shove It

So, as you can tell by the title, I did not get the job :(

Here's the e-mail I received:

Petra,

After a very difficult decision-making process, we've decided that, unfortunately, we're not going to be able to offer you the position of Guide to Baby's First Year at this time.

This was not an easy choice. Your pieces were well-written, informative and entertaining. You clearly know the topic well.

It's no fun for us to turn away qualified writers, but we only have room for one person for this topic.

Feel free to use the pieces however you like.

Thanks for all the time and work you put into the site.

Last night I drowned my sorrows in half a bottle of Cabernet and maybe cried just a little bit.

Then I got on the computer and started searching for new opportunities and e-mailing people I thought could point me in the right direction. I may be down, but I'm certainly not out, and I would truly like to believe that everyone is correct in saying that this happened because something else better is waiting around the corner.

Or life just sucks.

Thankfully, I have the final book in the Twilight series to keep my mind off of things, although I must admit that I am hesitant because if Edward and Bella don't get married, FINALLY get it on (preferably in a VERY steamy sex scene) and make Bella immortal in this final installment, I may not have anything left to live for. Should I take the chance? WAIT! I take that back--DON'T TELL ME ANYTHING! The only thing worse would be a spoiler...

So thanks everyone for all the crossed fingers, prayers and positive vibes. I am sorry they were all in vain. But you guys are the absolute best and I am so lucky and blessed to have you. You are more than just readers and fellow bloggers...you are true friends.



No, I am not crying again! I have something in my eye...

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts: I Didn't Want You To Follow Me Anyway...Stalker

randomtuesday

Hey, I am back this week with some random thoughts, since that's about all my brain is capable of lately anyway. So yippee! If you want to get in on the fun, go to Keely's pad and grab the button and write some random crap, sign Mr. Linky, and we will read it! How easy is that?

You know what's not all that easy? (Clever segue way, don't you think? I AM a great writer, let me tell ya) Being almost to 200 followers and then LOSING a follower so now you are two away from 200 instead of one. I was seriously all ready to celebrate having the big 2-0-0 in my followers list and then some douchebag follower decided to UN-follow me, probably due to my whining about the job that I want so bad or that I am super depressing cause all I wrote about last week was my uncle who died, so now I am all "Whatever. I didn't want you to follow me anyway; you were probably one step away from becoming some obsessed stalker, and you know, I don't need that drama in my life right now." So that's a relief.

I realized that I missed my true following people, and that is being a Disney on Ice Princess. My little one and I went and saw Disney on Ice with my girlfriend and her daughter two weekends ago and I sat there wishing that I could skate around on the ice in a beautiful princess costume and have Prince Charming or Aladdin (HOTTIE) pick me up and throw me around, then lift me up over his head like Patrick Swayze did in Dirty Dancing, and then we'd all get to skate together to "When You Wish Upon a Star" at the end and my life would be complete. I mean, seriously, there is nothing that makes me happier than some good Disney music, complete with beautiful people dressed in character, and I would be perfect for it. I have Belle written all over me. I had to practically unscrew my smile afterwards. Uh-huh, I had more fun than the kids did, so what's it to ya? Can't a mom enjoy herself every now and then? Yeah, that's what I thought.

I informed my husband this morning that if I get this job (please, please, please, please God, let me get it!!) that when we move to our new house, I WILL be hiring a cleaning lady. End of story. I am pretty sick of working 30 hours a week AND taking care of the kids AND doing all the cleaning AND the laundry AND the dishes AND the pet care, and whatever else comes up. I understand that my husband works so much that he literally doesn't even have any time to help me out that much, so since that is the reality, our new reality is going to be that Mommy is going to have a little "right hand woman." Hopefully her name will be Alice and she will wear a blue dress and a white apron and if things work out, she'll make us cookies and have surprising insights every now and then to help us solve problems. But I don't want to be too picky.

Lastly, I have a confession to make:

My name is Petra and I am a Twilight addict.

OK, OK, I apologize for all the times that I made fun of all the grown women out there obsessing over Edward, reading the books over and over and standing in line for five hours to get into the midnight showing of Twilight. And I'm sorry that I rolled my eyes and got irritated every time I read ANOTHER post about Edward and how hot he was and how every mom out there wanted to jump his bones. I have joined the legion of the un-dead lovers and even though he is a fictional character, I also love him with all my heart and soul and will wait in line for a year to see New Moon, and may just change my name to Bella and move to Washington in hopes that I might meet a darling, sexy, vegetarian vampire just like him. Alright? Are you happy now? You can all throw tomoatoes at me now and call me a hypocrite, whatever. As long as you don't try to steal my man away from me, OK? He's MINE!

So head over to The Un-Mom now and read her Random Tuesday Thoughts. Hopefully soon I was have some un-random things to write about, namely that I got a certain job I have been coveting, but I am not making any promises.

Seacrest out.

Monday, April 13, 2009

The Post That Almost Wasn't, and Then Was

I wasn't sure if I wanted to post today.

I don't have too much to say, but I really wanted to thank everyone who extended their warm wishes and condolences for the passing of my uncle. Last week was a hard week, and I am very glad to have it behind me. I am also done with my training for About.com and now the editor will review the work we have all done and make his decision. I tried to find out when I would find out, but I didn't get a straight answer, so I guess I just have to sit here with my stomach tied in knots and wait it out. At least it's beautiful outside and I have plenty of other things to distract me, such as the loads of laundry that were neglected last week and my disgustingly grimy bathroom in desperate need of a scrubbing.

I feel strangely optimistic and upbeat, which is making me a little nervous. I don't like feeling too confident, in order to avoid jinxing myself and getting my hopes too high, only to be crushed under the oppressive weight of rejection. But the week lays ahead of me like a clean slate and I intend on filling it with meaningful actions and a positive attitude. Even if I don't get the job. Although, I can't promise that if I am rejected that I might not crawl under the covers with a bottle of Cabernet and not come out for 24 hours. I should probably notify my husband that he needs to get the day off.

But I fully intend on crawling out of bed the next day with a full-on stellar attitude. Promise.

Thanks again to everyone for all the support and friendship. It helped so much knowing that you were all out there sending me positive vibes and praying for me and my family in our time of need.

I will be sure to let you all know as soon as I find out about the job, and promise not to hide in my rejection cocoon until after posting if it's bad news. Here's hoping for good news to share soon!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday: In Memory of a Wonderful Man

On Monday evening, my dear, dear Uncle Jimmy passed away after a long battle with cancer.

I love you Uncle Jimmy, and I will miss you very much.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Winner of The EdenFantasys.com Giveaway!

Alright folks. I have chosen the winner using Random.org and that person with the lucky number is:

Kelly from Baby Boogers!!!

Congrats Kelly! Send me your address via e-mail (there is a link in my right sidebar to e-mail me) and I will send it along to EdenFantasys so you will receive your prize tout de suite! (For those non French-takers in high school, that means at once.) Some of you may know that Kelly is pregnant with her second child, so this is perfect for spicing things up between her and her hubby when they need it the most!

I am going to wrap this up today with an advanced apology in case I am a little MIA this week with posts and/or commenting on all your blogs. I am in my final week of About.com training and have a lot of work and stress ahead of me. If all goes well, I should find out their decision a week from today, so keep those appendages crossed! I also have a THOUSAND things to do this week for the family, work, etc. and I feel like I might be getting a sore throat so blogging may have to take the backseat this week. I promise I will make it all up to you guys and I will try to get at least a couple of posts up, even if they are lame and half-hearted. One thing is for sure, though. I will let you guys know as soon as I know about the job because I know y'all are on the edge of your seats. You have shown me so much love and support, so I want to thank you again! It has been a huge help!

Everybody enjoy your Monday and wish me luck in not going out of my mind this week!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Another EdenFantasys.com Review and Giveaway!!

Yes folks, the time has come for another EdenFantasys review and giveaway and I know that a lot of other bloggers are hopping on the dildo-train with some giveaways, but I am pretty sure that NONE of them are giving away this:
This, my friends, is the Remote Control Butterfly. And it is as interesting as it looks. This one was my husband's idea because he likes to torture me for his own amusement, but let's just say that it didn't take all that much convincing on my part. I don't know about all of you, but lately I have been feeling a little "bleh" in the bedroom, what with the extra weight hanging off my frame and working so much that at the end of the day my hand involuntarily goes for the mouse to change the channel on the television. I just haven't been feeling sexy or inspired to shake things up to push through it. This little gem was exactly what I needed.

So in case you have no idea what this thing is, I will tell you that it is a rubber butterfly that straps on like a thong and there is a vibrating "stimulator" that fits right over your "holy grail." The stimulator is controlled by a WIRELESS REMOTE CONTROL, so basically your partner can take the reigns and have full control over when and where (operable word being "where" here) you get the stimulation. So hubby, of course, was ready and raring to try it out as soon as we got it, telling me to put it on and meet him to go out to dinner. Yes, I said out to dinner.

It took a lot of me trusting him and giving up control to agree to this, a little wearily at first. But as soon as I realized that it didn't make any noise, was NOT visible under my clothes and that the vibration wasn't so powerful that I would end up in a When Harry Met Sally Moment in the middle of Joe's Bar and Grill, I let go and went with it. And it was fun. It was exciting to have our own little secret and not knowing when he was going to hit the button made me hot with anticipation all evening. The one thing I made him promise was that he didn't do it while I was ordering my food. And he was nice enough to comply.

So all in all, I give this item four out of five stars. It was comfortable to wear and the vibration intensity was just right. However, the one thing I wasn't crazy about was that there was only one setting and it wasn't constant vibration. It came on and off in spurts, I guess you could say. But it was still a big turn-on and it spiced up our night, making us both sufficiently warmed up by the time we got home. RAWR!

So you know the name of the game--leave me a comment, telling me how you would take advantage of this item's, ahem, portability and discreetness. Get creative, I want to hear lots of great ideas! For your comment you will get one entry in the drawing to win the Remote Control Butterfly. If you Facebook or Tweet the giveaway, you will earn yet ANOTHER entry, and write about it on your blog and I will give you TWO more entries. So for those of you in desperate need of some spicing up in the bedroom, give me some linky love and your chances will be DOUBLED. Just make sure you e-mail me and let me know what you did for extra entries! Oh yeah, you can also go visit the EdenFantasys.com web site, your premier source for the best sex toys around, choose something else you would like me to review and giveaway and send me an e-mail telling me what it is. That will ALSO earn you another entry. Am I generous or WHAT?

The contest will close Sunday at midnight on April 5th and I will choose the winner Monday morning. Good luck everyone. I can't wait to hear what y'all have to say about this one...

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday: BFF's

My daughter and her best buddy holding hands while walking at the zoo. Can you get any more precious than that?

I think not.
 
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